1. 求英文幽默简短的句子
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?
Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. <；强推>
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Money is not everything. There’s Mastercard & Visa. <；强推这句>
Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk?
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
够暸吗？
2. 英语幽默短句100个
1. Money is not everything. There’s Mastercard and Visa.
钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don’t get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个或更多。
6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise..
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
3. 英语幽默短句
1) I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you. 我爱你，不是因为你是一个怎样的人，而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。
2) No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make you cry. 没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。 3) The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can’t have them. 失去某人，最糟糕的莫过于，他近在身旁，却犹如远在天边。
4) Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. 纵然伤心，也不要愁眉不展，因为你不知是谁会爱上你的笑容。 5) To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. 对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
6) Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you. 不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。 7) Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. 爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你，那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
8) Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. 不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。 9) Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful. 在遇到梦中人之前，上天也许会安排我们先遇到别的人；在我们终于遇见心仪的人时，便应当心存感激。
10) Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened. 不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。
4. 20个英语笑话爆笑超短
最低0.27元开通文库会员，查看完整内容> 原发布者：李鹏亚 20个英语笑话爆笑超短【篇一：20个英语笑话爆笑超短】20个爆笑超短：beforethefinalexamination,tomtoldhismother,mom,ihadadreamlastnightthatidpassedtodaysexam.donttrustdreams,dear.itissaidwhatyouexperienceindreamsusuallyturnsouttobetheopposite.motherreplied.thenidohopeillfailtheothersubjectsinmydreamtonight,tomsaid.在期末考试之前，汤姆告诉他的母亲：妈妈，我昨天晚e68a84e79fa5e9819331333433623737上做了一个梦，梦见我通过了今天的考试。
不要相信梦，亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。
妈妈答道。那么，我真希望在今晚的梦中，我的其他功课都不及格。
汤姆说。20个英语笑话爆笑超短：onthewayhomeafterwatchingaballetperformance,thekindergartenteacheraskedherstudentswhattheythoughtofit.thesmallestgirlintheclasssaidshewishedthedancersweretallersothattheywouldnothavetostandontheirtoesallthetime.在观看完表演回家的路上，幼儿园老师问学生的。
班上最小的女孩说，她希望演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。20个英语笑话爆笑超短：professor:whenisyourbirthday?kid:may30.professor:whichyear?kid:everyyear.教授：你的生日是什么时候？孩子：5月30日。
教授：哪一年？孩子：每年都是。20个英语笑话爆笑超短：老师在黑板上写了一句：timei。
5. 求英文幽默简短的句子
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn? Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Money is not everything. There’s Mastercard & Visa. Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk? Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 够暸吗？。
6. 英语短笑话
一）小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet？ 老师说：Go ahead。
小明就坐了下来。 过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet？ 老师说：Go ahead。
小明又坐了下来。 他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说“去你个头”啊！ （二）一对热恋中的男女。
女生非常没有安全感，于是对着男友说：“ SAY I LOVEYOU!! SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT！” 男的答道：“I T！” （三）一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。 在考试时因为过于紧张， 看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道：turn left？ 监考官回答：right。于是他立刻向右转…… （四）某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。
一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry。 老外应道：I am sorry too。
某人听后又道：I am sorry three。 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for？ 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five。
7. 有趣的简短的英语句子
When I was 12, I was just graduate from primary school。
The summer holiday was very long, and without homework。I felt dull and boring。
Absolutely, I knew the problem, no one can call back yesterday, and I mustn’t waste time。 So I decided read books in summer holiday。
The first I read was Oliver Trwist and Jane Eyue。 I’ve never seen such interesting books in my life。
although I did’t like reading before I enjoy it。 Now, I can’t live without books。
Because a good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever。
8. 听起来有趣的英语短句
1. Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you。
麻烦没来找你，就别去自找麻烦。
第一、四个trouble是动词，第二、三个trouble是名词。
2. I think that that that that that student wrote on the blackboard was wrong.
我认为那个学生写在黑板上的那个“that”是错误的。
第一个that是连词，引起宾语从句；第二、五个that是指示代词“那个”；第三个that在这儿相当于名词；第四个that是关系代词，引起定语从句。
3. I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know。
我知道。你知道。我知道你知道。我知道你知道我知道。
4. We must hang together, or we’ll be hanged separately。
我们必须团结在一起，否则我们将被一个个绞死。
这是一句双关语。前面的hang together是“团结一致”的意思，后面的hanged是“绞死”的意思。
5. The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog。
那只敏捷的棕色狐狸跳过了一只懒惰的狗。
这个句子包含了英语中的26个字母。
6. Was it a bar or a bat I saw?
我看到的是酒吧还是蝙蝠？
这是一句回文句，顺着读和倒着读是一样的。类似于“上海自来水来自海上。”
7. 上联： To China for china, China with china, dinner on china。
去中国买瓷器，中国有瓷器，吃饭靠瓷器。
下联：到前门买前门，前门没前门，后门有前门。
这是一副对仗工整、妙趣横生的英汉对联。下联中的第二、四、五个“前门”指“大前门”香烟。
8. 2B or not 2B, that is a ?
这是一种文字简化游戏。它的意思是：To be or not to be, that is a question. （生存还是毁灭，那是一个问题。）
9. He never saw a saw saw a saw。
他从来没见过一把锯子锯另一把锯子。
第一个saw是动词see的过去时，第二和第四个saw带有不定冠词”a”在前，是名词”锯子”，第三个saw是动词”锯”。
9. 非常简短的英语幽默故事
来源：百度知道?device=mobile&ssid=0&from=844b&uid=0&pu=sz@1320_1001,ta@iphone_2_4.4_3_534,usm@0&bd_page_type=1&baiduid=CCAE0DB84F88E4910912958F79AD987B&tj=2Fl_1_0_10_titleBig Head“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”“Don’t listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”“Where’s the shopping bag?”“I haven’t got one,use your hat.”大脑袋“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪？”“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。” Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered. “You’re a good boy,” said the mother proudly. “Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. “Look,” said the elder brother. “How nice these paintings are!” “Yes,” said the younger, “but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?” The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, “Obviously he was painting the pictures.” 父亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”。
